In this section I want to speak in more detail about the power of RTT® and how it has helped in two specific cases to overcome years of problems and agony. RTT® can of course be used for many other issues, as detailed on the services page. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions.
Social anxiety in the lavatory
Robert never thought that his life could be different. He had accepted
his behaviour and he learned to manage his anxiety well. He envied his
friends from time to time but felt that the freedom they had simply
wasn't available to him.
He overheard me at an event talking about hypnotherapy and the
fantastic breakthrough I had with a client. He became curious. A few weeks
later he reached out to me and timidly asked if I could potentially help him.
Robert enjoyed meeting up with friends and he always made an effort to go out but he could never stay out for
longer than 2 hours. He always felt that despite having friends, he's missing out!
He was simply incapable of using a lavatory in a restaurant or any other public place.
He would only ever order a small drink and had to leave immediately after. He only felt safe and able to use the lavatory in his own home. Having to come up with an excuse each time was not only frustrating but simply tiering as well. On the way home, fears and worries were racing through his mind, of what his friends might think of him, but there wasn't much he could ever do to quiet those intrusive thoughts.
When I went to see Robert, as he was more comfortable having the session at home, we spoke about his family and early life but nothing extraordinary revealed itself in our initial conversation.
Once in hypnosis, Robert revealed that he never quite felt like a part of his family. His father spent more time out drinking than at home. His mom worked two jobs and was always exhausted. He never got much affection from her, he never felt that he mattered. His older brother bullied him relentlessly and he became very introverted. He repeated throughout the session, how he never felt accepted.
There was an enormous lack of connection. His parents were never really in tune with Roberts needs.
It doesn't always take a massively traumatic event to lead to social anxiety. It can also be a series of smaller events, words, or even lack of love as in Robert's case.
He firmly believed that if his own family are rejecting him, then how could strangers ever possibly accept him?!
This was a belief deeply embedded in his subconscious mind and his 'solution' was, to avoid social settings. He figured that, if he didn't stay out for long, there was less of a chance that people would reject him.
His apartment felt like a safe haven, where no one could hurt him.
I explained to him that while we are unable to choose our parents, it's not his fault that his parents couldn't meet his needs. He is a completely wonderful and valuable person very much deserving of love & connection.
He was very surprised after his session, as he never had an explanation for his behaviour but now it all made so much sense!
I spoke to Robert a few days and then a month after our session, and he reported feeling better. He told me how helpful the session was but he didn't go into much detail, and if I'm being completely honest I didn't want to pry and ask about his bathroom schedule.
It was only a few weeks later that I saw Robert at a restaurant with friends and he asked me to join them.
We had our usual 'hi, how are you' chat but I still had some questions in the back of my mind...
It only took about 5 minutes and all of a sudden Robert said: "excuse me while I go to the loo".
I don't think I was ever so happy to hear those words from anyone! :)
Robert's story so wonderfully illustrates that the answer isn't always apparent. If we've been experiencing certain issues for years or never knew our life to be any different, it doesn't mean that we should just accept it.
Hypnotherapy can reveal the most astonishing things.
There is a reason for all our behaviours, and an answer to all our questions, we just need to want to know!
Presenting problem- OCD
Leila started her session off by telling me how
she's only doing this for her husband. He asked
her repeatedly to talk to someone, so here she was.
Needless to say, I was very intrigued and wanted to
find out how I can help her.
"It's my OCD" - she said.
" Everyone around me is annoyed, but it helps me.
It soothes me. I don't want to get rid of it!
Why can't they all just leave me alone?!"
At this point, little did I know that this wouldn't be the only heart-breaking thing she would say that day.
As I felt the urgency of the situation, I didn't spend a lot of time asking questions, we proceeded with the hypnosis to find out exactly what was the root cause of her behaviour.
Leila found it very difficult to speak. The answers were all there, the memories came up, but she struggled to say them out loud. She just didn't want to accept them.
Her father was an abusive man, very short tempered. Unfortunately he would not only raise his voice regularly but his fist as well. After such an event, he thought it was a good idea to go into Leila's room at night and to stroke her which often led to sexual abuse.
Leila was so young, only a child. She didn't understand what was going on, but she knew deep down it wasn't right. Even with all of this, she idolized her father and as children often do, she blamed herself. She was absolutely convinced that she wasn't good enough, she deserved the beating and it was all her fault.
She never spoke to her mom about it, or to her twin sister because she was afraid the message would only get reinforced. They would undoubtably also tell her how she deserves it ,for being bad.
She would sit in her room for hours, organizing everything, putting all her dolls away, making sure all the toys were arranged by size and colour. She would obsess over the pillows on her bed and when she felt they didn't look perfect, she would throw them on the floor and start over.
"Of course I deserve this, I can't even arrange some pillows properly! I am so useless, I'm such an idiot!"- she would say to herself repeatedly.
Her parents always assumed that she was playing nicely in her room, little did they know that instead she was spiralling and suffering, obsessing over events she had no understanding of, or no control over.
Even at the age of 31 she was convinced that she deserved everything that happened to her, she was bad and the OCD was her friend. She couldn't control her thoughts or her emotions so she tried to control her outside environment instead.
She loved her father deeply, so it was immensely difficult for her to accept that he ever did anything wrong.
She now had to completely re-evaluate their relationship and it was heart-breaking for her.
It was a tough session. No child should ever go through anything like that, and it's interesting to see how even at 31, Leila was thinking like a vulnerable little girl. It was hard for her to let go, and to understand that she didn't do anything wrong. Often in such cases there is only one way out.
I asked Leila if she wanted to have children. She told me that they have been trying with her husband for a few weeks now.
My next question would shake her to her core.
"If you found out that your father or anyone else, did this to your daughter, would you excuse it? Would you say she probably deserved it?"
She jumped out of her chair as if it was on fire! - "of course not!!! How can you even say that?!"
"So why was it ok for little Leila to be treated that way?"
Silence, tears and a breakthrough ended the conversation.
We all deserve love, respect and safety. No one is born inherently bad and deserves such a life.