Maybe it’s just me but it feels like everywhere I go, anywhere I look I’m inevitably met with the M word. I open my laptop there it is, I speak to friends it gets brought up, I go into my kitchen, it’s pouring out of the tap – manifesting!
But why has it become so popular? In my humble opinion it’s quite simple. It promises a relatively quick fix to some of our biggest problems, our insecurities, tells us we can attract wealth, get the lover back we lost, and the list goes on.
Over the past few months, I’ve taken some time to research and investigate what some of the more popular manifestation coaches are suggesting. Most of the gurus, teachers, tutors seem to be saying the same, which is good. Consistency across the board it good. Let me share some of the ideas though before we jump to any conclusions:
Move on from the past:
Solid advice one could say. However, if you are just watching YouTube videos or Tick Tock’s of your favourite manifestation coach, I see a severe problem with this advice. This is far too superficial.
Moving on from the past is an excellent idea, and highly recommended by yours truly as well, once you have dealt with the pain and the hurt! Not before. If you fail to address the underlying issues, if you don’t face your problems, they will keep coming back. And then you wonder why you may get results but can’t sustain them. Let’s say a relationship with a special someone ended and now you would give anything to have that person back in your arms, back in your life.
Chances are this isn’t the first time you experienced some form of loss or even a breakup. Simply forgetting about what happened and focusing solely on the desired outcome, won’t work. Why you ask? I’ll tell you.
Our mind loves to solve problems, it most certainly doesn’t do well with loose ends.
Braking up usually involves fights, arguments, disagreeing. I’m not saying it’s impossible but show me 1 person out of 100 who can just happily move on from the arguments and not replay what happened in their mind over and over again, desperately trying to understand what happened. And this isn’t even the biggest problem. Say you broke up because of jealousy or lack of trust, feelings of inadequacy, just to give some examples. These are all serious issues that should be addressed. Finding the underlying belief that caused you to behave in certain ways that contributed to the demise of a relationship is extremely important. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, there is a very good chance you will just repeat them.
So I half agree with this point. Yes, move on from the past, and do not dwell, but only after you dealt with your feelings and beliefs that hold you back.
Change bad thoughts to good ones. Also referred to as ignore the 3D:
Ignoring the 3D refers to ignoring your current situation. If you have bills piling up, just ignore them, repeat to yourself that you are rich and abundant, and it’ll all be fine!
Can you hear my eyes rolling?
I think this is also the part where most people fail in their manifestation journey. Ignoring what is happening around you in your day-to-day life is hard. Being completely delusional may come easy to some but not to most of us. It’s incredibly hard to genuinely and consistently talk yourself out of a bad situation and to believe that a miracle will happen while you just affirm and wait. Perhaps it does, after years of practice. From what I’ve seen, the success stories or testimonials come after many months. Most people get discouraged after days. They want a quick fix.
Changing bad thoughts to good ones, seeing the positive if every situation, is good advice, for sure. Ignoring your circumstances? I’d be cautious with that one, but hey, this is my blog and my opinion.
Writing down your desired outcome, repeating relentlessly how you would want your situation to be instead of how it currently is.
For example: “ I am so happy we are moving into our brand new, beautiful house. It’s so amazing and I love everything about it…”
You may be surprised to read that I don’t actually have a massive issue with this…tactic.
Reinforcing and reminding yourself what you do want, focusing on the desired outcome instead of what is currently lacking, is good. I think of it almost as a gratitude journal. Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions. When we express gratitude, it changes the attitude, brightens your outlook, and broadens your perspective. Embodying the state of already having that what you so desire is excellent. Now, will sitting on the couch and journaling about your dream house make it magically appear? I’m inclined to say, no…
Will it elevate your emotions, inject some hope into the vision of your future and perhaps even give you a kick up the bottom to leave said couch and actually do something about it? Perhaps. Give it a go!
This is perhaps the tactic I am most on board with. A lot of manifestation coaches talk about taking certain people off a pedestal and instead elevating yourself. Let’s imagine you want to apply for a job at a Fortune 500 company. It is your absolute dream job, and you would even consider working there unpaid for a year, if only you could be part of the team. The day has come. You have an interview with HR and your line manager to be, who is somewhat of a hero of yours. You enter the room, you’re nervous, you’re sweating, an absolute mess and in the process, you even forget your own name. Auch.
Yes, this may be your dream job and all you want is to prove how hard you are willing to work, how diligent you will be and to show up every day and contribute with never before seen enthusiasm, but end of the day, even the CEO of the company is just a person, a fellow human. We all put our jeans on the same way, brush our teeth with a toothbrush and have the same amount of hours in a day.
So instead of entering the room like a sweaty mess, even before you would consider approaching the building, you need to work on your self-concept, your self-image.
Build yourself up. Outline why you deserve the job, remind yourself why you are worthy and truly believe that you can do it.
There is no success, there is no way to the top without a strong belief in yourself.
Self-concept to me is understanding our limiting beliefs, working through them, and adapting new and empowering ones. Again, this is not something that can be done overnight. I fully support this idea and I truly believe that everything starts and ends with us. We contribute to every situation and even when someone hurts us badly, we had a part to play in that. Even if our contribution was as little as 4%, I would always advise to ditch the victim mentality and have a look at what could have led to the situation. Perhaps we allowed a certain behaviour for years, maybe we never prioritise our needs, failed to express how we truly feel.
All I will say is, it takes two to tango. Having a look at our own behaviour, working on upgrading limiting beliefs can only ever benefit us.
These are just some of the more common concepts and tactics promoted by manifestation coaches and whereas I agree with some points and ideas, I think it can be a slippery slope. You could easily find yourself watching YouTube videos for hours and days and weeks trying to find that one little magic ingredient that you’ve overlooked so far that will surely kick your manifestation into high gear.
That one little element that will not only get you the dream job with a monster salary but the Lamborghini and the love of your life. But what if it doesn’t? What if you can’t find that final piece? You end up feeling like a failure, you end up feeling like, it works for others just not for you. Surely there is something wrong or you just don’t deserve to have your dreams fulfilled…
How does that help?
Much like a good soup, all of this manifestation advice needs to be consumed with a pinch of salt. Journaling, affirming, visualizing, scripting and co, will not work unless you do.
My conclusion after having read volumes of wisdom, having listened to several manifestation coaches, is as follows. Put yourself first. Understand what limiting beliefs you might be carrying around and work on them. Get help if you need to.
Have a very clear idea of what you want. Extreme clarity equals extreme power.
Be defined by an extraordinary vision of your future and live in a state of gratitude every day.
Affirm what you want and don’t stop working on yourself until you truly believe you are worthy. Don’t try to cut corners and get quick fixes, that will only lead to disappointment. Stay positive.
One of the phrases I heard in my journey to understand manifestation, will undoubtedly stay with me:
"You get what you are, not what you want."
I think this is a truly powerful statement. Instead of focusing on what we want, what we need, with maybe even an air of entitlement, I would also advise to look inwards. Ask the question: “How can I improve?" or "What do I need to do to become a better version of myself?” Focus on what you can control, your own actions and your reactions. That will have a much bigger return on investment 😉 Now go out there, and make it happen!